


Best I Ever Had

by neowise



Series: Atin ang mundo [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22160044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neowise/pseuds/neowise
Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is so cliche. But Jaemin and Jeno live in a cliche world. Too bad Jeno ended up hurting Jaemin, before he can fully love him.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: Atin ang mundo [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1595038
Comments: 10
Kudos: 20





	Best I Ever Had

**Author's Note:**

> This is the JaemJen side of the story Ilang ulit (Ikaw pa rin) but you don't really need to read that one to understand this (I think?). Pero if you have time please read it? haha I'm just experimenting and sorry di talaga ako marunong magsulat purely in Filipino. I made this a series na so I'll write the Renjun story and some snippets din someday. Thank you! If taga-Uste kayo, pls let me know if naiimagine nyo yung places haha

Mula pa pagkabata, alam na ni Jeno na magiging doktor sya. There was no other option for him, not when his lolo owns a hospital in Bulacan, his dad is a doctor, and his kuya is a doctor too. 

Pero di naman napipilitan lang si Jeno kase gusto din talaga nya na maging doktor. 

So when it was time to take college exams, he did not experience the same breakdowns that his best friends had when they were choosing their schools and courses. For Donghyuck, ang worry nya was will he have a profitable career after college. He wanted to pursue art, something he was passionate about. Pero mahirap magka-trabaho sa field na ito sa Pilipinas. For Renjun, ang problema nya is he wants to do so many things. There are too many options and he is afraid he’d pick the wrong one and he’d waste years in college because of that one choice. For Jaemin, his biggest problem is that his parents wanted him to be a doctor like them. But all that Jaemin wants is to write. Alam din ni Jeno na science is not really Jaemin’s forte. Dagdag pressure pa kay Jaemin na Jeno is going to pursue medicine and their parents are friends.

Their second biggest worry ay kung saang college sila papasok. For Jeno, he was sure na sa UST sya mageenroll at kailangan nya lang pumasa. His three friends have been indecisive at hindi nila pinag-usapan together kung ano ang college plans nila because they did not want to influence each other. But all four of them took the USTET. 

On the day of their entrance exam, hinatid silang lahat ng kuya ni Jeno. Kuya Junmyeon graduated from UST too so sya na nag-volunteer na samahan sila.

After their exam, they waited for Jeno’s brother at the benches near the soccer field.

“We’ll still be friends kahit hindi naman tayo magkakasama di ba?” tanong ni Jaemin, breaking the anxious quiet surrounding them dahil kakatapos lang nila mag-exam.

“Oo naman, Nana. That won’t change. College is just another playground. Tayong apat, we are friends for life,” sagot ni Donghyuck.

“Natatakot ba kayo mag-college?” tanong naman ni Jeno. Because now he is starting to worry too. He’s been with his friends since their elementary days and halos araw-araw nya silang kasama. 

“I’m scared. Alam nyo naman ako, I always worry for the future. But excited too. I’m feeling it’s going to be a fun one for all of us,” sabi ni Renjun.

*

It turned out, wala naman pala silang dapat ipagalala masyado. In the end, all four of them enrolled in UST too. They passed the courses they wanted and kahit na iba-iba sila ng colleges, it’s still a good thing they are in the same university.

Jeno thought all is well now. His life is all good and everything will go smoothly now because he has everything that he wants.

But in reality, Jeno was very naive. 

The truth is, Jeno was not ready for college. First year, first sem pa lang nahihirapan na sya. Hindi sya naka-adjust agad sa mas maraming demand ng college, especially academically. 

The good thing was, he was not the only one having a hard time. His three best friends experienced the same pressure too and they all handled it badly. 

Renjun and Dejun only got together during their senior year in highschool but they’ve been unofficially together during their whole highschool life. For a moment Jeno considered that Renjun would go to ADMU because that is where Dejun went. Pero sabi ni Renjun hindi naman daw factor sa relationship nila yun. Willing naman daw si Dejun pumunta ng UST to see him. But after their first sem, in the middle of Renjun breaking down kase ayaw nya na sa course nya, he broke up with Dejun.

Donghyuck, on the other hand, clinged to his blockmates, particularly a boy named Sanha. They barely saw him during the first sem.

Jaemin was probably the only one who was doing okay, despite the one who had to endure pressure from his family. Jaemin did consider na sundan nalang ang gusto ng pamilya nya. He passed his second choice din naman which was Nursing so pwede pa rin sya sa medicine track na gusto ng family nya. Jeno, the person who knows Jaemin the most, advised him one thing: “You have to choose what will make you happy, Nana. Kailangan mong piliin kung ano ang magpapasaya sayo.”

And so Jaemin did. Jeno would like to believe that he did so because Jaemin was really enjoying college. He was determined to prove his parents wrong and he was braver, more confident compared to their high school days.

Jaemin’s newfound confidence translated to him suddenly confessing his secret love for Jeno too. 

To say Jeno was surprised was an understatement. And prior to Jaemin’s confession, Jeno did not consider their friendship as being more than what it is sa edad nila na yun. But it’s not to say Jeno did not like Jaemin. Hindi nagkaka-crush si Jeno during highschool dahil si Jaemin ang basis nya of who he can potentially like. But Jeno never considered the two of them really being together, especially now na kaka-start pa lang nila sa college.

Jeno was probably failing some classes, he could barely keep a social life, but the hardest part of the first sem in college was him ending it by breaking his best friend’s heart.

“I’m really sorry Nana. I just think I can’t handle being in a relationship now.”

Kahit sa tenga ni Jeno, it sounded so bad. But Jaemin received it with a smile and gave Jeno a small pat on the head. “Sabi ko lang naman I like you as more than a friend, Jen. Di ko naman sinabi na you have to like me back the same way.”

“But I do like you as more than a friend!”

“Of course, I’m your best friend,” Jaemin said. “But it’s really okay Jeno. Kinailangan ko lang talaga sabihin na matagal na akong may gusto sayo. Sabi mo I should choose what makes me happy and I just wanted you to know that I chose you.”

For a minute or two, they were both silent. “What will happen to us now?” tanong ni Jeno. He is so scared that he is going to lose Jaemin.

“Nothing has to change naman di ba?” sagot lang ni Jaemin.

*

Donghyuck and Renjun finds out about the confession in the middle of second sem. Hyuck comes back in their lives after breaking two people’s hearts -- his almost-but-not-really relationship with his blockmate Sanha and a short fling with a DLSU student he met in a workshop, Yeri. But even then, he had the nerve to get angry at Jeno for “dumping” Jaemin (Hyuck’s word, not Jeno’s).

“I did not dump him, Hyuck.” 

“Actually, you did dump me Jen. But it’s okay,” sabat ni Jaemin. 

Naging parang running joke nalang sa barkada nila ang naging situation ni Jeno and Jaemin. 

“If you think about it, may mali din si Jaemin,” dagdag ni Renjun. “How can you confess to Jeno when college is on the peak of ruining our lives.”

“I just needed to let him know what I felt at that time, Injun. Feeling ko sasabog na ako sa sobrang pagkagusto ko sa kanya. He didn’t need to return my feelings naman,” sagot ni Jaemin na para bang wala lang si Jeno sa tabi nya.

And of course, this made Jeno blush. He can feel his ears heating up and his heart racing so fast.

He coughed to fix his voice and said, “so tama pa rin ako na I did not dump you. Kase you said you were not expecting anything in return.”

“Ano ba naman kase ang difference if you both put a label to what you have? It’s always been the two of you naman,” Donghyuck said.

And Jeno believed that. Because it’s always been Jeno and Jaemin. Maybe it was stupid to fear the idea of commitment when Jeno had always been with Jaemin too even without labels.

*

Pero bago pa mabawi ni Jeno ang naging sagot niya kay Jaemin, naka-move on na ito sa kanya.

By their second year in college, naging mas kampante na silang magbabarkada. They have survived their first year almost unscathed. Renjun was the only one who changed his course, pursuing something he thinks will make him happier.

Of course, their group of friends expanded too. But it was Jaemin who ended up making more friends. He joined several organizations and signed up on extracurricular activities. Jeno cannot follow him around too much, not when he is still slow to catch up with his academics. 

They still spend a lot of time together, pero minsan some of Jaemin’s new friends join them o kaya Jaemin has to leave earlier to meet other people. 

And Jeno is okay with that. He had to be okay with that kase wala naman siyang choice.

“Remember, the ball is in your court,” pang-iinis na sabi sa kanya ni Donghyuck.

“There is no ball, Hyuck. Kinuha din ni Nana yung bola.”

“Wait… you are really jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m just… ewan ko? I am angry with myself but I deserve this naman just the same.”

“Ewan ko din sayo, Jeno Lee. Alam naman nating lahat that you like him.”

“Even if I like him, I made the wrong choice last year.”

“Hey,” mahinang sabi ni Donghyuck kay Jeno, “you know that you made the right choice pa rin naman di ba. If hindi ka ready nun and nag-commit ka kay Jaemin just because you are scared of losing him, you will end up hurting him more. Hurting yourself more too.”

*  
Jeno knows he can’t stop Jaemin from liking someone else. Friends lang sila and Jaemin is free to meet other people.

Still, it annoys him to hear about the other guys that Jaemin like. Usually, he tries his best na huwag makinig and huwag i-memorize ang mga pangalan nila. But it’s so hard to ignore when Jaemin is glued to his phone, smiling so widely over whoever he is texting. 

“Hyuck, nag-text si Lucas. Punta tayo sa post-birthday celeb nila for Mark next Saturday,” sabi ni Jaemin habang nakangiti sa phone nya. 

Ah. Lucas. Suddenly Jeno hates that name na. 

Automatically, napatingin si Donghyuck kay Jeno na katabi nya sa sofa. But Jeno refuses to react, keeping his eyes on the screen and obviously ignoring Donghyuck’s stare.

Narinig ni Jeno na huminga ng malalim si Donghyuck at ibinaling ang atensyon sa isa pang kaibigan na very busy na nagtatype sa phone nya.

“Lucas? Ka-text mo sya?” tanong ni Donghyuck.

“Yep, we exchanged numbers after nung tree planting,” sagot ni Jaemin.

“Akala ko ba si Mark ang crush mo,” tanong ni Donghyuck. Again, di na naman sya maka-keep track sa mga pinagkakaabalahan ni Jaemin. “Bakit si Lucas na ang ka-text mo? Todo ngiti ka pa dyan.”

Mark. Now that name is familiar too. Panay ang kwento ni Nana about this guy too.

Tumawa si Jaemin at binaba ang phone nya. “Sorry. Nakakaaliw kasi kausap si Lucas. Crush lang naman si Mark and he seems not interested in me so hanggang dun na lang.”

Napataas ng kilay si Donghyuck. “Someone is not interested in you? That’s hard to believe. Akala ko nga Mark was flirting with you nung tree planting when you introduced us to each other.”

It’s so hard not to be interested in Jaemin, Jeno thinks. Mark must be stupid. Jaemin has the sweetest personality, is very caring, smart and gorgeous. Favorite ni Jeno pag inaasar si Jaemin tapos magpopout lang ang kaibigan nya. Jaemin’s hugs are very warm too. Ah. Jeno is really the stupid one here. 

“Loko ka,” Jaemin said, sabay bato ng throw pillow kay Donghyuck. “Not everyone likes me like that, Hyuck. And Mark was definitely not flirting then. Di mo pa kase masyado kilala si Mark Lee but he’s just really nice and flattery with everyone. I don’t think he even knows how to really intentionally flirt. Unlike Lucas, who I’m pretty sure is really flirting with me now”

“Hmmm… I thought Mark was pretty predictable. Pero sabi mo nga I don’t know him that well.”

“Let’s go to this party na para mas makilala mo sya. Gusto mo rin bang sumama Jen? I’ll ask Renjun too pagdating nya.” tanong ni Jaemin.

“I’ll pass, kayo nalang ni Hyuck. Pero that’s a day before your birthday Nana. So don’t get drunk,” sagot ni Jeno.

“Yes boss,” Jaemin said with a smile. “Wait kuha ako ng more popcorn.”

Pag-alis ni Jaemin sa sala ay pinalo ni Donghyuck si Jeno sa left arm nya.

“Aray! Donghyuck!”

“Sinasabi ko sayo Jeno Lee, if Jaemin ends up dating someone other than you it’s partially your fault too.”

“Alam ko naman yun,” sagot ni Jeno, sabay buntong hininga. “Pero anong magagawa ko? Hindi ko naman sya pwedeng pigilan from meeting other people.”

“May pwede kang gawin. You can tell him you like him too. He confessed to you first and you turned him down dahil kaka-start lang natin sa college nun at naintindihan naman kita kase nag-aadjust pa tayong lahat nun. But that’s one year ago na, di na valid yung reason na yun. I am very sure he still likes you the most.”

“I can’t just ask him out dahil convenient na sa akin now, Hyuck. It will be so unfair to him. And what if hindi na pala nya ako gusto? Not in the same way as before? Uungkatin na naman natin yung issue na yun and magiging awkward na naman kami. What if hindi na bumalik sa dati yung friendship namin?”

“He still deserves to know what you feel, Jen. Let Nana decide for himself. Kesa sinesecond guess mo sya at pinangunguhan what his choice will be. I know you really like Jaemin. But liking is not enough, Jen. You need to tell him that too.”

“Ayokong mawala si Jaemin,” sagot ni Jeno. “I’m risking too much.”

“You should put more faith in the friendship you have. And my opinion stands, if you don’t make your move, you can’t fault him if he thinks you just don’t want to date him and he ends up liking someone else.”

*  
There is nothing Jeno won't do for Jaemin.

Picking him up from a party because he is so wasted doesn't even bother Jeno that much. Lalo na birthday pa ni Jaemin that day. Jeno even tells his friends he got a driver's license to be Jaemin's personal sundo. As Jaemin's best friend, as someone in love with Jaemin, kahit ano pa yan handa nyang gawin for him.

And Jaemin knows this.

"You're really the worst person to be in love with Jeno Lee," Jaemin slurs, obviously very drunk. 

Kakahatid lang nila kay Donghyuck and dapat ihahatid na rin niya si Jaemin sa bahay but Jaemin insisted sa condo ni Jeno sila pumunta because he can't go home drunk.

Jeno only began living near the university this sem in the hope na makatulong sa pagfocus nya sa acads if di na nya kailangan magbyahe ng malayo araw-araw.

"Hmm?" sagot lang ni Jeno. He was expecting Jaemin to have fallen asleep na by now.

"You make me fall for you over and over again but you won't let me have you."

Napabuntong hininga na lang si Jeno. Sakto sa stop light. 

He reached out to Jaemin's face who is looking like on the verge of falling asleep na.

"Nana, I'm already yours. I've always been yours."

Jeno knows Jaemin won't remember this tomorrow. He probably didn't even hear him now. Jaemin always doubts how much Jeno likes him anyway and alam ni Jeno it's his fault for planting the idea that he can get rejected by his best friend. But there is no one that Jeno can love as much as he loves Jaemin and someday he wish he can be brave enough to tell him that.

*  
“I think Hyuck is dating Mark,” biglang sabi ni Jaemin kay Jeno pagdating nito sa kainan where they were supposed to meet. 

“You think? Pano mo naman nasabi? And alam ba ni Hyuck na he is dating Mark?”

“Ah may point ka dyan. Pero kase nakita ko sila sa Jollibee kanina kumakain. They were sharing one sundae.”

“Baka naman nagtitipid lang sila. Di mo sila kinausap?”

“Hindi na kase paalis na kami ng classmates ko nun e. And they seemed to be talking about something serious.”

“Are you affected? You like Mark right?” tanong ni Jeno. He is wondering if Jaemin is jealous.

“Crush ko lang si Mark and not even that much. I’m just curious bakit walang nababanggit si Hyuck.”

“Hmm… parang madalas nga mabanggit ni Hyuck si Mark. Di lang ata natin pinapansin.”

“I knew they were friends kase they got close nung party ni Mark but not to this extent.”

“He’ll tell us if he is dating Mark when he is ready. Baka nga di pa narerealize ni Hyuck na he is dating someone na.”

Jaemin nods. May ganun ngang tendency ang kaibigan nya. 

“Well if they end up dating I won’t mind. Mark is a really nice guy. I deserve a big thank you when they get married since ako nagpakilala sa kanila.”

Before Jeno can answer, nagsalita ulit si Jaemin. “Hey gusto mo ba ihanap din kita ng date?”

Tumawa lang si Jeno sa sinabi ni Jaemin. Pero nagmaktol ang kaibigan nya. “I’m serious, Jen. I can introduce you to someone you might like. Wala pa akong naiisip now kung sino pero I’m sure meron yan.”

This time, si Jeno naman ang sumimangot.

“What are you talking about Nana? You want to set me up with someone?”

“Hindi ba to good idea? At least ma-sscreen ko muna sya and I’ll make sure it’s someone you’ll like and someone who will be good to you.”

Jeno is pissed, but mostly at himself. Kasalanan naman talaga nya kaya ngayong pinagtutulakan na sya ni Jaemin sa iba. 

“Drop it Nana. I’m not interested. Ikaw din naman walang dinedate bakit ka naman hahanap ng para sa akin.” Hindi mapigilan ni Jeno ang galit nyang tono.

Umiling lang si Jaemin, ignoring what Jeno said and the anger emanating from him. “Anyway, if you change your mind just let me know.”

*  
When Jeno thought about confessing his feelings to Jaemin, the scenario he least expected was that it will be during a shouting match in public. Medyo may pagkatahimik kase si Jeno and Jaemin is not the confrontational type. 

But Jaemin also loves to surprise Jeno. And one of these surprises was introducing him to several people for potential dates.

Which of course does not work out. Sometimes Jeno is cooperative and polite when he and Jaemin meets someone. Pero madalas quiet and aloof lang sya, letting Jaemin talk to his friend on his own.

“Are you sure you even know my type?” Jeno would tease Jaemin after. And Jaemin would take this as a challenge. Jeno is hoping mauubusan din ng kakilala si Jaemin hanggang sa sarili nalang nya ang ipresent nya na ka-date.

But Jeno ends up disappointed. One November, Jaemin brought Chris to meet him sa harap ng building nya. Hapon na so medyo crowded sa Plaza Mayor. Akala ni Jeno it’s another date for him. But Jaemin introduced Chris as someone he was going on dates with. 

Gustong tiisin ni Jeno ang galit at selos na nararamdaman nya. But he just finished class and he is so tired and Jaemin is here, blatantly ignoring his feelings.

So Jeno says something rude to Chris that insinuated Jaemin will just dump him soon so no need for them to get to know each other, which made Jaemin mad. He attempted to walk out pero hinabol sya ni Jeno.

“What the hell was that Jeno Lee? Why are you embarrassing me to Chris?”

“Because I don’t like him! Is he the reason why you keep setting me up with others?”

“What? Anong kinalaman ni Chris tungkol dun? I was doing that for you.”

“I told you naman Nana. I’m not interested.”

“Well I thought you might have changed your mind. And if ayaw mo talaga e di no more. Bakit ka galit kay Chris?”

“Kase you didn’t tell me you were dating someone! Na kaya mo ako pinagtutulakan sa iba ay para mag-move on na ako from you kase may iba ka na!”

This made Jaemin laugh hard and Jeno knows ito yung tawa ni Jaemin when he finds things absurd.

“Are you serious now? What are you talking about Jeno?! Move on from me? I should be the one moving on from you. You dumped me. Tapos now you are acting like this?! Nagseselos ka ba kay Chris?”

“Oo nagseselos ako! And not at Chris. Not just at him but at everyone who has a chance to be your boyfriend because I lost that chance na a year ago,” malakas na sagot ni Jeno.

Lumapit sya kay Jaemin, staring hard at him.

“I didn’t dump you Jaemin. I loved you even before you confessed to me. I just cannot be with you then and alam ko alam mo yun. But I never stopped showing you that I only want you. Pero ikaw, you kept ignoring how I felt na,” sabi ni Jeno.

Jaemin’s eyes widen and he stuttered to say anything.

“And that’s fine,” dagdag ni Jeno bago pa makasagot si Jaemin. “I deserve it. But don’t push me to others, please. If my feelings are a burden to you I will go away quietly. Pero huwag mo na akong ipagtulakan sa iba. Kase sigurado ako na ikaw lang ang gusto ko.”

Now tears are falling from their eyes. 

“I’m jealous because I love you. I’ve only loved one person and that’s you. But I was stupid enough to reject your love when you gave it to me. I wish I could rewind time and take that back. Because, in the end, gusto ko lang din naman na maging tayo,” umiiyak na sabi ni Jeno.

Jaemin pulled Jeno to a tight hug. “I’ve never stopped liking you, Jeno. Pero akala ko talaga wala akong pag-asa sayo. That I will never be more than your best friend. That someday you’ll find someone na pero ako andito pa rin sa spot where you left me before.”

“I never left you behind, Nana. I am only yours. I’ve always been yours,” sagot ni Jeno.

Jaemin moved away from the hug, wiped his tears and said “That sounds so familiar. Napanaginipan ko na ata na sinabi mo yan sa akin.”

Wiping his own tears, Jeno laughed too. “At least yung subconscious mo aware na mahal din kita.”  
Later, when the four of them were eating in McDonalds na and nahimasmasan na ang dalawa, they both realized na eksena talaga ang ginawa nila. 

Tawang-tawa si Renjun and Donghyuck sa mga kaibigan nila but they felt more at ease now that they are finally together.

“Muntik na pala na hindi talaga kayo magkatuluyan,” biro ni Renjun.

“Hindi ah! I refuse that. Alam ko babalik at babalik din ako kay Jeno,” sagot ni Jaemin.

“Hala. E ikaw nga itong may sinagot na iba,” sagot ni Renjun.

Jeno feels bad for Chris and maybe he should try being nice to him the next time they meet. Jaemin had to break up with Chris right then kase pero they’ve only been out on one date naman so nothing serious daw. Chris even joked na magandang anecdote to sa next na makikilala nya na magugustuhan nya, but hopefully not someone na may hang-up sa bestfriend nya.

And while they are on high over Jeno and Jaemin getting together finally, Donghyuck confessed that he may have a huge crush on Mark.

Renjun was confused kase di nya kilala si Mark. Jaemin was not surprised because he saw  
them together na and said it’s hard not to fall for Mark especially if after sa kwento ni Donghyuck that they’ve become so close. And Jeno… Jeno was jealous.

“I’m not jealous. Pfft. Pero ayokong mag-react muna kase sa utak ko andun pa si Mark Lee dun sa mga kalaban ko for Jaemin’s attention. And I don’t know him as well. So, good luck on your feelings, I guess,” sagot ni Jeno.

Tumawa lang si Jaemin and kissed Jeno lightly on his cheeks. “Seloso,” he whispered.

“Ugh! Pwede ba na walang PDA pag kasama kami!” sigaw ni Renjun sa mga kaibigan nya.

Jeno laughs and reaches over sa batok ni Jaemin. It’s their usual thing pero Jeno finds more meaning now. He’s glad things worked out for them. Because Jeno feels the same, he’d always come back to Jaemin too.


End file.
